my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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