Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
