it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
