Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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