everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
