I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
