I want to walk on stilts...naked
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Randomize
