i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
