Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
