At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
