is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
