they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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