im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
