This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
