I bet he comes in French.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
