do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
