If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i wish my penis had a tongue
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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