What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize