Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
