How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
