using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
