You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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