they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
They are going to name an STD after you.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
