brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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