she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize