Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Come on in and take your pants off
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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