Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
