Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
