Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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