It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
