Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
