I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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