He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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