yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
