I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize