He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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