this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm at about main and main street
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
