nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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