I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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