it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
