Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
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Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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