found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
