The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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