oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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