is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
