she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize