I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
