I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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