Pappa wants mamma naked
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize