she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
