She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
