once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
