i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
