There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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