OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
