there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
did i walk over a car last night?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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