Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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