Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
