My first STD was from a foam party
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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